Jumper Cables

      In opening, I have to say that you must be truly Minnesotan to want Ice cream when it's below 25*F outside and there's however much snow, and to take a chance to go out on those slippery freezing roads to get that Ice cream... Also, thank God for angels! =)

     As I mentioned in my earlier post, Cherish invited me out for supper. Well Aaron, on his way back to Blackduck, was at Walmart and his battery died, so Dad went over to jump start his car. Well when Cherish and I go out around 5:45 to head into town, Carrie (who came to pick up Aaron since his starter went kaput) told us we can move her car if it's a problem parked right behind Mom's car. That wasn't the problem though, the car wouldn't start. The battery was dead. So Aaron was a hero and came out and jump started it then told us we would have to leave it running while we were doing whatever we were doing or it wouldn't start again. We asked if there was an alternative, the alternative was eating supper with the family will the car battery charged. Which wasn't so bad, we agreed we would go out for desert afterwards coffee or Ice cream. Lizzy had made her famous french fries anyways so it wasn't too bad. Supper was pretty epic, a lot of laughing and de-stressing and being a family, if you get my meaning. ;)
     Finally, close to 7, Aaron once again came out with us and made sure the car would start, moved Carrie's car and we were  on our way.
     "Well where to?" Cherish inquired.
     "I don't know, wherever you want." I'm so indecisive. And then I go into a random pros and cons of the coffee houses I can think of in Bemidji, we decided on Snowdrifts at Caribou.
     Well ends up a Snowdrift and a Mocha. Mint and Milk Chocolate Snowdrift... Amazing! And the Milk Chocolate Mocha... I love coffee!! So we find a table, we're almost the only ones in the coffee shop besides two workers and an occasional customer, so it's nice and quiet for our talk... ranging from our coffee to emotional and family issues and then politics. DEATH! lol Right in the middle of our political discussion, a short brunette, middle aged woman pops in,
     "Someone with a dark blue sedan has there lights on."
      "Ahh, it's not a Sedan we've got a Buick -"
      "Yeah well, I don't know, that's probably it. The lights have been on for quite awhile."
      "Oh no! The keys!" Cherish and I look at each other. She goes out to check and comes in a few minutes later,
     "Not a peep! It didn't do anything!" Great. Now what?! So the lady that came in works at the salon right next door, her husband is coming in a few minutes and he said he'd give us a jump start, well thank God that the barista at Caribou had jumper cables in her car and that she was sweet enough to let us use them. The man who opened the salon next to Caribou just recently, helped us start our car and we very gratefully left the parking lot. I hope we will double check the lights before leaving our car on a winter night... or any night for that matter.
     In the middle of it all, before we got the jump start, I looked over at Cherish,
     "Laugh Cherish, it will make it better!" She didn't really seem too enthused about that idea, but she was a good sport and laughed anyways and I laughed and it made me feel better, I don't know about her.
     We got home safely, have a good story, learned a lesson good, had a good laugh... And I had something new to blog about... an adventure... jumper cables and Minnesota winters... =) 

What's New?

     Well... Thanksgiving was lovely! Lots of time with the cousins and family. Emily and Kalli came Wednesday night, (after I passed my written test. Yes I have my permit now and I'm so happy! Finally!:)) They were here until Friday evening. Met Cody's girlfriend Gabby, she was a lot of fun, also Mom's uncle Eldon came. Auntie Joan and her family didn't come and neither did Dan and the kids.
     Friday we went out to Auntie Joan's then, in Fosston. Played Catch Phrase, a tradition in our family on Thanksgiving, had some good laughs and 'healthy' competition.;) Yes we're all very competitive!=P
     The rest of the weekend was uneventful, Monday evening, Cherish came to stay for the week, and all of us girls went into Walmart, I drove, Lizzy was my 'instructor' and I gotta say she is a very good instructor. =)
     Tuesday night we had to clean and so I drove again and Sarah rode along, before we left, when she found out that I was going to be driving she joked "I better take my heart attack pills." Then later at some point when apologizing for some mistake to her, she assured me, "Don't worry I'm fine, it's a good thing I took those heart attack pills!" Yes we've gotten some good laughs about my driving errors already and I do enjoy it though I was a little intimidated by the new challenge at first.
      Last night I found out that Mom and Dad and Aaron were going to Hibbing early this morning for another court hearing for Dan to do with the custody of his children and I asked to go along, despite the fact that it was going to be 6:30 or so when we left, I went to bed around midnight but didn't sleep until closer to one and then around 3 I started waking up from horror dreams about driving. My alarm clock rang at 5 and I couldn't figure out how to turn it off, yes majorly dysfunctional at that time of day. Mom woke me up a little after 6 and I forced myself out of bed, blurry eyed and fluffy hair, grabbed my clothes and took a deliciously warm shower. Then with hair still wet went out and joined the others in the frigid half dark morning air as they tried to decide whether to take Aaron's or Mom's car, we ended up, Mom, Sarah and I crammed in the back seat of Aaron's car and the heater was having issues so the 1-1/2 to Hibbing was a bit cold. The court hearing, we will skip... Afterwards we went over to Dan and his girlfriend Sarah's place and Aaron and Dad helped move some furniture before we went out to Hardee's for some food. Aaron rode with Dan and his girlfriend and let dad drive his car, I offered to drive, but apparently, despite my convincing him that I was a 'good driver, even ask Lizzy.' He didn't seem too eager to let me drive. (Not like I blame him!;)
     Sarah and I got plain double cheeseburgers and when Aaron came over with a Mushroom and Swiss burger, I have to admit we kinda lusted after it. Aaron, seeing this and being the selfless brother he is, he gave it to Sarah in trade for her cheeseburger, and Sarah, as I told them, NEVER passes up food! Especially not junk food! (I love you Sarah!=P)  It was good to sit and talk and get to know Danny's girlfriend, just a little, she seems reserved but really nice too and Danny seems to love her. The ride home was warmer, we figured out the heater. It was more pleasant.
     Cell groups is at our place tonight, Cherish and I will go out for supper. Such a filled day, but it's good.
     My charge cord died... again. Dad already fixed it once, he's going to try and fix it again but until then, my phone is almost dead so I've been living without it since last night =( I get attached to things too fast.=P
     I woke up Sunday morning with a miserable head cold, it's all in my sinuses, I'm feeling a little better but it's gone from headaches and my jaw being locked and toothaches and even my nose aching, to a sore throat and now a bad cough. They told me to take Grapefruit Seed Extract... well this stuff is miserable stuff, worse than Vodka with no chaser and that stuff is awful! I took it in maybe an inch of apple juice thinking that the less I mixed it with the less to down, BAD MISTAKE! It BURNED! And I could taste it for a long time, grossest stuff ever, almost made me puke! Took lots of Vitamin D and C too and took Grapefruit Seed Extract twice more, it took me awhile to get the courage to drink it the second time, but it was in 3/4 of a glass of grape juice and I could hardly taste it. I've decided that's the only way to go if you're going to take something so awful!
     Monday night I died my hair. Dark brown. I love it! It's shocking at first but it pulls out the blue in my eyes and some of the hair didn't get as dark as other parts so it's really highlighted, I told mom it looks like Rolos... caramel and chocolate! =) I came into the kitchen at noon, having been sleeping in and being woke by Aaron's voice. Him and dad were at the counter, backs to me, and without really looking at me asked Dad, "Who's that?" and Dad, "I don't know." Then I tried to talk and my voice due to my cold was totally awful and unrecognizable. I'd completely metamorphosised over night! =P
     And it looks like I've turned into quite the long winded blogger... guess I just am long winded either way... but anyways, I'll close this with a picture of --

My hair!=)

Pencil Sketches

     So my dear friend Cherish gave me a set of drawing pencils for my birthday in June, I haven't had a lot of chances to use them yet, but I've thoroughly enjoyed them when I did! =) The following drawings I finished the first yesterday and sketched the second tonight in about an hour and a half or so. I love drawing, not gonna say it's my strongest point but hey practice makes perfect, and as embarrassing as it is, I like looking back at my old sketchbooks cuz even from one drawing to the next I can see major improvement. So, thank you Cherish for the pencils and thank you Mom, Sarah and Rachael, (all three awesome artists=) for the hints and tips and critiquing you've shared...

These pictures are from my cellphone and really not the best quality.
Rachael claimed this Muslim sketch for her office. =)

She's a little distorted here, but, I was bored and looking through my sketch book,
got inspired by a particular picture I made this spring/summer and thus the result...

      I'd have to say my favorite art medium that I've tried so far is most likely pencil, though I also enjoy acrylics and colored pencil. What's your favorite? 

One more thing ---

     I felt like giving that last post some sort of long rambling title to fit it, like a Charles Dickens' chapter title. ;) Did you know he was paid by the word? Certainly one way to motivate an author to find the most fascinating words possible, maybe that's why the quality of literature has gone down... (or the understandableness [I'm aware that is not a word:P] has gone up?) people are no longer paid by the word so they no longer have a need to search for the craziest and longest and most 'wordy' descriptions possible. Rachael you would have done well writing for whoever Dickens wrote for! Awing everyone with your ability to make even the simplest thing seem completely baffling and unfathomably deep with long words! ;-)

     Okay, really this post wasn't about that, that was just a result of my ADD and saying what I think... or typing as the case may be... and before this turns into a completely random 1 AM post with my philosophy on life and me working out every little problem or thought in this post... What I wanted to say was that poem I posted, A Miracle Mistaken... Completely fictitious... I've had too many people asking me about that one, thought I'd clarify. No it's not about me. I LOVE writing in first person... but most of the stuff I write about, I'm just imagining! Don't worry! =)

     And in the words of Mitch (Rachael ;-))'

     So there you have it! 

- Drivers Ed, People and Thanksgiving -

      Well, well, life has been great, busy, but wonderful I suppose. :) The last three weeks I've had drivers ed. Today was the last day, I loved my classmates... yes somedays, I got in the car when Mom or Rachael came to pick me up and just started ranting about how much they were getting on my nerves... there were 5 boys and maybe 7 or 8 girls.The guys could get so loud and obnoxious and surprisingly some of the girls did too!

     The first friend I made was Kevin. 10th grade, 16 like me. Sat across the room from me and walked out to our waiting rides after class each day. Kevin made it clear from the start that he intended to be the class clown. He was obnoxious, redneck, had a story for everything, but Kevin's one of those people that can laugh at himself, he doesn't really fit in but he's okay with who he is and pretty confident in that. I think he's just a normal teenage boy looking for attention in any way he can find and being 'class clown' got him that. We had class Monday through Thursday last week and then this week Monday and today was the last day. Yesterday when I walked into class the only kids there yet were Kevin and Nick and maybe a couple of the girls.
     "Hey Anna! What's up?" Normal greeting.
     "Hey Kevin!" I toss my blue folder full of drivers ed materials onto my desk, third back from the door and pull out my chair (Whoever created those chairs and desks... I'd love to get my chiropractor Dr. Woggan to give them a good hard talking to... they SUCK! lol) and seat myself.
     "Guess what?" I turn back to Kevin,
     "What?"
     "I got a girlfriend!" His face is lit up by a giddy smile.
     "She's from West Virginia!" Nick smirks.
     "Really?" I ask, intrigued, Internet girlfriend? Was he there once? How did this happen?
     "Well, yeah." Kevin seems a little hesitant and embarrassed by the announcement that his relationship is a long distance one.
     "Cool. How'd you meet her?"
     "She's Big Al's, girlfriend's, niece."
     "Ahh I see! Cool! What's her name?" We've all heard stories about Big Al, Kevin's equally redneck buddy, who is apparently a good deal older then Kevin though I'm not sure how much.
     "Yeah, her name is Katie Thorn." Later as we're walking outside I ask Kevin if he has a picture of her, of course his wall paper is her. =P She's pretty, blond, glasses, guess she loves hunting, fishing, mudding, Fords, Semis and big trucks as much as he does, even at 15. Sounds like a perfect match! I'm happy for him. Kevin is a great sport and I really enjoyed getting to know him a little bit.

     Nick, little freshman blondie, 15 in December, you can definitely tell, loud and obnoxious and doesn't listen well! Got yelled at a lot for not paying attention, listening 'like a box of rocks'... (Okay Lisa doesn't yell she has the patience of a saint.) I didn't really talk to Nick much, he sat in the row of desks between Kevin's on the far side and mine by the door, right in the middle of the class room next to Manny. Nick annoyed me, quite honestly I'd get out to the car and say 'Oh my gosh Nick is so immature and annoying!' but the last two days I did talk to him a little and I realized I judged him a bit soon, he could be a lot of fun, just a normal attention whoring boy looking for acceptance I suppose.

     Manny. 17 in December, another one of the boys I'd rant about. Too full of himself, cocky, loud, annoying... Okay he reminded me of Peter. He had this flip side, in control, a leader, mature, and really sweet and cool if he wanted to be. He and his sister Alisha were kind of the life of the class, 'teacher's pet's' of sorts... somehow they previously knew Lisa I think.

      Alisha, I'm not sure how old she was, she must have been 16. Her birthday was last Monday and she brought cake. Alisha is the type of girl that's just like 'I'm me and if you don't like that, suck it!' didn't dress up or even wear that much make up if any. She was pretty funny. I really didn't like her at first, she's the time that's kinda a flirt and just too loud and out there and opinionated, but then I realized that I kinda did like her, she was pretty cool. The kind of person who doesn't mind trying new things and messing up, just kinda go with it, loosen up and live life, have fun. Realized watching her (and after some 'joking' comments from some dear people) that I really need to learn how to let myself have fun and just go with it!

      Sheridan, long brown hair, big brown eyes, a cute face, that modest look that just screams 'homeschooler'. We didn't make friends until second week I think? Maybe third, but boy that girl can talk like nothing else. She's interesting too, not the type that just talks about nothing, or people... idle talk. She actually has things to talk about and a great imagination! Her family is Lutheran. She's your typical 'sheltered', fairly innocent homeschooler at 15, super sweet and funny. She sat in front of me. She loves reading. One day we discussed books with Lauren and Athena the two girls in the first row in front of Sheridan. Sheridan also writes. She let me read one of her stories she's working on, today and I loved it, definitely got talent. Great word usage, descriptions and very intriguing story line. We exchanged email addresses so we could keep in contact.

     Lauren, extremely thin, short blond hair and a really sweet face was 14, and Athena a Native looking girl was 15. Besides the discussion about books...mainly Twilight and different TV shows, I didn't really talk to either of them but they seemed pretty cool.

     In the last row on my side of the room, Sammi, almost 18 and pretty quiet and another tall, thin, blond girl  (I didn't catch her name) who was 14 or 15 from Trek North shared a desk. The blond girl had a lot of smart comments for people, quite strong, she made me laugh. I wish I could have gotten to know more of the kids from my class 'cause a lot of them seemed like really cool and fun people.

     On the far side across from me in the front row a red head girl who stayed mostly to herself except I saw her talk to Noah a few times and the girl who shared her desk, looked like a foreign exchange student or something.

     Noah sat behind those two and in front of Kevin. He wasn't part of the main group of guys that almost made us lose our grand finale pizza party, but he would join in sometimes. I hardly talked to him, except in the end, another blond (Seriously I think my class was half blond! :-o) he was a little quieter but he still added his piece every now and then. He was 15 but looked and acted a little more mature.

      I already covered Kevin, and in the two desks behind him sat a tall dark haired girl. Another red head chick and a girl with long curly light brown hair sat behind her. Those three could get pretty rowdy, almost as bad as Kevin, Nick and Manny. I think the two in the back were Maddison and Megan or something, not sure what the tall girls name was.

      There were a few kids in and out making up a day they'd missed when their class was going, and another tall skinny blond kid who wasn't there the whole time, not sure what his name was. But those are the students...
   
      Lisa deserves a gold star for being such an amazing teacher! She's funny, smart, patient, and really great at dealing with all the kids, and yeah being one of the kids too. =) One of the days she sat in the empty chair at my desk and was looking through a Medical Dictionary on my desk with some pretty graphic disgusting pictures of medical conditions and etc, (We were in some medical career room or something) got to talk to her for a while. She jumps at a picture of a spider... guess she REALLY hates them! =P Made me laugh. She definitely knows how to have fun and make class fun. Thank you Lisa for putting up with us all!! <3

     More than learning about the laws and safety and techniques of driving and the road - I learned that you can really hate someone, sitting back and judging from their appearance, or just writing them off, that if you took the time to even have one decent conversation with you could really get to like!

      So tomorrow I get to go in and take my written test, crossing my fingers that I'll pass it, I got 14 of 120 questions wrong on the final test in class so I'm not too scared I guess. And if I do pass the written test tomorrow, I'll get my permit so I'm pretty psyched. FINALLY! =)

      Thursday I woke up at around 1 or something, yes in the afternoon, I'd been up a good portion of the night, Cherish Brown and I had made plans earlier in the week to go out for coffee that day since her mom was coming into town. I totally forgot about those plans, so Rachael came in and woke me up like
     "Hey you have company."
     "Oh my gosh I forgot all about that!" I had drivers ed at 3:15. So Cherish and I went in to Raphael's Cafe and  Bakery for lunch, we had some coupons that expired that day so we used that and got lunch half price. After that we walked over to Cantabria for coffee. Had a great time with her.
     Friday was Cjay's cousin, Mariah's birthday party, she's five now. Gosh, I love those children, Maria 7, Mariah 5, and Mason 2. Cutest kids ever! =) Angel drove me, and Maria not really paying attention runs over and gives her a hug like,
     "Anna!" and ran back to whatever she was doing. Angel just stood there kinda awkward,
     "I don't know you but, thank you." The adults all laughed and later when she realized she'd hugged the wrong person, Maria's like "Ahh you tricked me!" Needless to say, I had a very good Friday, between shopping with Angel and spending time with those children.
     Today Jessica Smith, a second cousin on my mom's side who I haven't seen in at least four years, stopped in. It was really good to see her again! It wasn't very long, 1 - 3 because I had drivers ed, but we went out for coffee at Starbucks and then she dropped me off at the High School.
     Tomorrow I have a feeling will be full of cleaning the house until it shines (okay not that dramatic) and baking and baking and baking some more. I'm usually in charge of pies and we usually a LOT! So we'll see what interesting varieties I can find this year, last year I made Banana and Coconut Creme, Lemon Meringue, this delicious peanut butter and the traditional, probably apple and Lizzy made her amazing pumpkin pie. I'll probably repeat most of those if not all again this year. =) Also besides cleaning and baking, Emily and Kalli will be coming tomorrow night and I can't wait to see them! Maybe I'll post some pictures of the whole holiday prep and celebration, no promises, only if I get my camera out and feel like it. =)
     Thursday is Thanksgiving! We're counting on a pretty full house again this year, not, maybe, as full as some other years, minus a few people, plus a few people. My favorite Holiday besides Christmas and New Years... Okay that's like half the holidays but Thanksgiving really is probably nearly my favorite.
     What are you all thankful for this year? What are your special family traditions or foods or plans for this year? Anything you're especially looking forwards to?

      I've gotta say I'm thankful for the fact that I'm still breathing, by God's grace I have survived another day,  week, month, year... I'm thankful for the friends that I have currently, for my sweet boyfriend, my family, all of my relationships, for the lessons life has taught me this year, and for the fact that I'm still here. This year has been a rough one but it's been a good one and I'm thankful that I'm still (mostly) in one piece.=)

     Happy Thanksgiving!!

A Miracle Mistaken

A Miracle Mistaken 

We've made a mess

I'm scared to death

I can't confess 

I hold my breath 

This can't be real

I'm numb inside

I cannot feel

I try to hide

Try to deny

And you get mad

You know I lie

I feel so bad

But I'm afraid

If I admit

The mistake made

I can't hide it

It will be there

I'm not ready 

No one will care

I am unsteady

People will judge

I'll disappoint

They'll hold a grudge

Can't see the point

Miracle child

A pure beauty

But it's defiled

By impurity

Ashamed of it

It's not to blame

Not fair but it 

Will bear my shame

Beautiful child

Redeeming grace

Innocence wild

Washing all trace

My redemption 

My sweet pardon

For temptation

I took part in

A second chance

To get it right

To get this dance

Perfect tonight

You're mine forever

I'd never trade you

I hope forever

You'll be pure and true.

~Anna Marie~

    -September 26, 2012-

Love is -

     Love is about loyalty, hard work, riding out the lows, making it to the highs. Love is about disagreeing, fighting, tears, but still hanging on,working out the differences, clinging to the good times. No matter how many rough spots there are, what you remember in the end are the good moments.
     Love is about pain, taking chances, getting hurt, risking a broken heart. It is being selfless, putting the other first, it's enduring, forgiving, doing what's best for them even if it's not easy for you.
     Love is about grace - being hurt and let down, but always giving a second chance, always hoping for the best, believing in them no matter how many times they mess up. It's learning to see their heart and soul, giving grace for their human frailties and encouraging their strong points.
     Love is being so close to giving up but knowing that person means more to you than all your pride, knowing that no matter how bad they hurt you, you would never wish them out of your life even at the lowest points in your relationship.
     Love is sharing hearts, being real, being you. It's perseverance. Never giving up!
     Love isn't the way Disney portrays it, being swept off your feet and living happily ever after, it's hard, it's painful, it's a knowing that no matter how hard you have to fight, and no matter how long or short of a time you have with that person, the relationship is worth it!
     And yet, Disney's shallow view of romance can't even begin to compare to true love, the beauty, the pain, the laughter, the tears, the tender words, smiling, making sweet memories, learning what makes each other's day.
      Love is beautiful, but it's not the lovey feelings that keep you together, because romance comes and goes like a woman's emotions, the butterflies aren't always gonna be there, the thrills, it's not a bed of roses, because no one is perfect, we all make it hard to love us at times. You can't be half in, with love, it's all or nothing. You give it your heart, your everything. 100%. So before you fall, make sure it's worth it.

     

  November 4, 2012   

~Anna Marie~

Contrast is Beauty

     I hate death. I hate pain. I hate loss - and yet in the horrible ache of it all, there is beauty there amongst the ashes, like a single, delicate, wine colored rose on a grave, for in death, there's new life, in pain there is healing and in the loss there is gain. Even if it's not easy to see the beauty through the stinging blur of tears - in order to feel true, deep joy we need the pain as a comparison, and to appreciate gain, we must experience loss. to rejoice in new life we need to first experience the stinging loss of death - if there was only joy and laughter we would see only half the picture, to be complete in it's beauty, we need the mountains and the valleys, the darkness and the light, the tears and the laughter - contrast is what makes it beautiful.

--Anna Marie-- 

August 24, 2012

I'm learning... slowly but surely...

     I know I haven't posted any photography in ages... I'd lent my SD card out so I haven't had it and I've just been too busy since I got it back but I wanna try and get some pictures to post sometime before this week is over!! But until then I'll post another ramble....:)


     I'm learning that life and love are a journey, not a destination - It's not about tomorrow, it's about living today, it's about taking time to get outside of me and my world to bless someones life. It's not the big things that are important, it's the little things that warm my heart and make me smile.
     Love is absolutely terrifying, but if I never take the chance, I'll never know what could have been, I'll never know how I could have touched that person's life or how they could have touched mine.
     Life is about people, loving, relationships, the small stuff, a baby's laugh, a child's hug. No matter how busy I am, or what I'm in the middle of, it's not going to hurt me to stop and devote ten seconds to a younger sibling who needs my help. I'm learning that it's not being rich that is important, it's people, there will always be more money, but we'll never again get the chance to remake these memories if we miss them now. I'm learning to listen. Stop what I'm doing, I can reply to that text or finish that chapter or write that list alter, but right now, she needs to talk and listening is more important.
     Happiness is a choice and my moods and my decisions affect others, there's time for laughter and a time for tears. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign that you still feel. Tears are as much a blessing as laughter. I'm learning you have to face the pain head on and deal with it, feel it, grieve it, and let yourself heal. Bi-passing it only  hurts worse longer.
     I'm learning to appreciate even the people who seem over the top, who are not 'cool' or 'normal'. Their open mind and unbiased love for everyone inspires and humbles me. Their ready acceptance for people and their quickness to believe the best. People aren't always what they are on the outside, you gotta get to know the heart before you can make a fair judgement.
     I'm not perfect, no on is perfect...and there's no point in trying for perfection, just try your best, don't set your standards too unreasonably high, give yourself room for failure, but never cut yourself enough slack to get lazy. People change, never give up on anyone, including yourself! <3

The Location of Heaven and Hell

     Have you ever really thought about where Heaven is or where Hell is? I mean, we all know Heaven is up and Hell down right?!
     Growing up, I've always thought of Heaven as above the sky, but where above the sky? In outer space? Just above the blue? I always imagined the sky as being a layer and Heaven on top of that, but how logical is that?!
     And Hell? Below the earth...in the fiery core? Or is that too in outer space?
     Or are they not even in our world? At the end of an eternity we could never find the end of, is there another world below us and above us like we're the frosting in between?
     Are they non existent places that exist but not in our world?
     Obviously the only way to get to either is by death, and then only our spirit goes.
     Is it hard for you to fathom this?
     How would you explain where Heaven and Hell are?

Jacks - Poem

JACKS

Shooting across the floor

Snapped from a child's fingers

Flashes of brilliant color

They jump and twirl and dance

Wobbling around in uncertain circles

Whirling and bobbing and hopping

Losing momentum as friction slows them

Then topple over dizzily.

For the Beauty of the Earth

     My parents were discussing the trend of art depicting nudity, and whether it was painted pornographically or simply in appreciation of the beauty of the human form. My parents did not come to an agreement but it started a conversation between my cousin and me about art. She mentioned enjoying looking at the marble engraved horses and wishing she could paint or sculpt something like the human body half as beautifully as artists have through the years. When I was replying to her text, I started to think how much beauty and thought the Master Artist put into the universe, so much diversity and wonder. Every time I stop to think about it, it really takes my breath away, and the fact that God chose me and you and all the rest of this fallen race to enjoy and take care of His creation... I know I never would have! If I had made such a masterpiece, I would put it somewhere out of reach of all my children's grimy fingers and naughtiness so they couldn't ruin it, and yet God gives us grace even when we've made his beautiful world a place of sick perversion! The mind that it would take to create something so intricate and complicated and perfect... and yet it was nothing for God, six days. How can anyone look at the world and not believe He exists? I hope someday to meet the Artist of our universe.

Good Morning Beautiful World

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in. ~George Washington Carver

The sun in this picture reminds me of when I was younger, one of my favorite books to look at was  Ideals - Hymns of Faith and Inspiration, and my favorite picture was one like this that went with the song Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus. I really didn't know the tune that well but I'd always try and sing it best I could. :) 

How glorious a greeting the sun gives the mountains! ~John Muir

God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees and flowers and clouds and stars. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Martin Luther

This handsome rooster enjoys heralding the morning bright and early most days. 

After all, I don't see why I am always asking for private, individual, selfish miracles when every year there are miracles like white dogwood. ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. ~Lao Tzu

Morning bath!

Sidewalk art, oh the innocence of childhood! :)

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural which is infinite, which is yes. ~E.E. Cummings

New Blog Title

I changed the title of my blog. What do you guys think? Was the old title better? You have a better title? Or is the new one satisfactory? 

Take a Deep Breath, Slow Down and Really Live! (Pictures)

The stack of schoolwork I'm supposed to be doing...

...what I'm doing instead...journaling... 

...or goofin off with my favorite little sister! <3

The Kitties all decided this would be a comfy place for a nap! :) KITTY PILE!

Lizzy found a book from the library... a book that she used to love as a kid. It's a pretty funny story :)

Had to go help Sarah with something outside and on the way back, laying in the sand of the drive way was this single, gorgeous maple leaf. It reminded me once again to slow down and savor the little moments in life!
Thank you God for beauty! :)

An Inquisitive Mind

     I'm sitting Indian-style on the couch, Coffee in one hand, trying to get some school work done before everyone's up and making noise.
     John is sitting across from me in dad's comfy arm chair, wrapped up in a big blue afghan, jabbering about - I don't know what! Asking me questions I'm only half listening to,
     "Sometimes I wonder, why do flies buzz?"
     "Butterflies? They don't buzz." I look at him puzzled.
     "No, flies. Why do flies buzz."
     "Oh, you know, I don't really know the answer to that." I admit, not knowing fully enough myself why to explain it to him.

     "Hmm." He seems lost in thought. Ruthie comes and snuggles under his warm afghan with him and they jabber and laugh, flies forgotten, but I'm left thinking.

     I'm not really a particularly inquisitive person, too often if I don't know something, I just leave it. I always wanted to be just like the adults I knew, especially mom, she knew everything about everything. She could answer any question I asked her. I wanted to know everything when I grew up, just like she did.
     Of course I've grown up enough to realize that she doesn't have the answers to all of my questions or the questions of the universe, no one really does, but I still think she's a smart person and I admire her knowledge. Not knowing the exact answer to John's question made me ponder on how if we want to learn, we have to have an open mind, be willing to ask questions, willing to admit that we don't 'know it all', willing to take in the information.
     I wonder how much we would learn if we never grew out of asking the million and one questions that children ask about the way the world works and the matters in the world that effect us and people and life. If we could somehow always remember that we will never know enough, and keep that hunger for learning alive, how much could we learn?

Afternoon Coffee With a Favorite Sister

     Life getting a little too stressful? Just wanting to get out of the house? Need some sister time... You'll probably find us at Cantabaria! Like this afternoon...

Our favorite haunt

Our corner table

My dear sis with her Snicker Frappe... one of her favorites I think . :) 

I've been trying a new coffee smoothie each time I go, this time it was a toss up between a  White Chocolate one and a Toasted Coconut... I got the White chocolate and it was yummy! :) My favorite has to be the Coffee Toffee I think :)

Thanks Rachael for the time out of your day, sharing hearts over coffee creates some of the best memories! My sisters are such a blessing! Thank you God! <3 

He Knows the Answer to EVERY Question I ask

     I was sprawled on my bed reading a textbook on Anthropology this afternoon when the thought occurred to me, we as humans, with only so much capacity for knowledge and etc., have a million questions about the universe and every function in it. We will always have questions no matter how many answers we find, because with every answer comes a dozen new questions, the part of this that awes me is that there is a God up in Heaven who could answer every questions that humans are asking, have asked and ever will ask, a God who knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING in the universe, a God who created it all from nothing. That realization takes my breath away.

     Jesus often answered questions with questions. Think about it, sometimes in the question there is more answer than in any answer a person could give you. Having to think it through yourself. No wonder He taught in this way. 

The Boyfriend, The Babies and Old Family Friends (pics)

Well I had a great weekend. It definitely didn't last long enough, that's for sure! I got to see the nephews and nieces and really bond with them and also I got to spend part of Saturday with my boyfriend in Grand Rapids.

     Saturday morning, my alarm rang at 6:15 AM and I switched it off, knowing I needed to get up and shower before we left but also that I had over an hour and a half. Friday night I'd talked dad into letting me ride along with Mom and Rachael to Grand rapids to see my boyfriend who is attending Itasca Community College (ICC). Before 6:30 I groggily crawled out of bed and gathered the things I'd set out the night before, knowing I wouldn't be in a mood to pick an outfit, then headed downstairs for a shower.

     There was a knock on the bathroom door and I let Rachael in, fully dressed and putting makeup on I looked at her in the mirror, "What time is it?"

     "8:00."

     "No!"

     "Sorry 7:12 or something."

     "I knew I hadn't taken almost two hours in here!" we laugh. I make some coffee to bring with me, can't skip that, especially not when I'm awake so early. Only slept four hours since I was up until almost 2:00 AM trying to arrange today with my boyfriend Cjay.

     Finally we say our goodbyes to the few people up and head out to the car it's a little past 8:00 we're on schedule. The drive is quiet, Rachael sleeps in the front seat, I sit in the back, journaling most of the way to Deer River where we drop Rachael off at her friend Given Hoffman's. Mom was going to say hi to Given's mom, a friend she went to school with, but the house still looks quiet so I move to the front seat and we start for ICC. I finish the chapter I was in the middle of, in the Hunger Games and then put it away and jabber at mom.

      We arrive on campus around 9:50, about 15 minutes early and wait, first in the front parking lot then the back, wondering which he meant. Finally mom points out a figure coming around the corner,

     "That Cjay?"

     "Yep, that's him!" I smile. We get out and walk over to meet him, sitting at the picnic table in front of the dorms, "This is my mom, mom, this is Cjay," obviously, but I felt like I needed to introduce them. They shake hands. Both are a little nervous, especially Cjay, but they make small talk for a few minutes, them mom asks what our plans are for the day.

     "I don't know, we'll probably walk into Walmart." Cjay says.

     "Do you want a ride in?" Mom asks.

     "Yeah." He agrees, I look at him, I thought he wanted to walk. "Saves us a bunch of time and walking." he answers my questioning look.

     "True." Mom drops us off a couple blocks from the mall in town and we walk there. It's a small mall with not very many options, the stores are all name brand type stores and expensive. We window shop a little then start on our way to Walmart, we stop at Burger King on the way, I've been craving a Mocha Frappe and Cjay gets fries. I order then join him at the booth in a corner he's occupied. We sit for a few minutes talking before our number is finally called,

     "That's you." he tells me, I grin at him,

     "That's you." I already told him I was going to let him get our order. I slide the receipt with #87 on it across the table to him and he gets up,

     "Ahh whatever." What a gentleman. After Burger King we continue on to Walmart, the time is slipping away quickly, mom's gonna pick us up at Walmart at 3:00. I'd been hoping for a little longer, but hey they let me come I'm not gonna push it this time. It's probably close to 1:00 by the time we make it to Walmart, after shopping for a little while, we sit outside. Both of us stayed up late and both of us are tired. We lay down right outside of Walmart, behind a stone bench and talk,

     "You ever take a nap outside of Walmart before?" he asks me. I laugh,

     "No!"

     "Do you think you ever will again?"

     "Depends on how much time I spend with you at Walmart." he laughs now too.

     Mom's late, it's 3:30, she apologizes as we get in, not like either of us care. We drop Cjay off at his dorms again and mom and I head for Nate and Aimee's, mom's already been there while I was with Cjay, but we'll spend the night and Sunday we get to see Traci and the kids.

     I again jabber most of the 30 minute drive to Nate and Aimee's out past Nashwauk. Bristol and Weston are a bit shy at first, Weston warms up faster than Bristol who has a bit of a reserve to her, she takes her time getting to know people but isn't exactly quiet once you do know her. We play outside for most of the evening, until around 7:00 we go into Nashwauk for pizza. Then Mom and I take the kiddos home and Nate and Aimee go out for a date.

     We play ball and color in the notebooks mom brought for them, I journal and mom makes hot cocoa for us two while Bristol and Weston eat Graham crackers.

Weston goes to bed by 10:00 but Bristol refuses to get her pajamas on, in her own cute little stubborn insistent way, she doesn't want to go to bed until mommy and daddy get back but mom helps her put them on. She sits next to me on the couch playing with her party favors and jabbering. Finally past 10:00 mom puts her to bed and we go to bed. I don't know when Nate and Aimee got in, I was sound asleep all night, the couch was pretty comfortable.

     I'm wakened by a little hand on my shoulder,

     "Weston." Mom says softly, "She's sleeping." I fall back asleep for another hour, once the rest of the family is up, I go and take a shower. Church is at 10:00. I still feel groggy, Nate's made coffee so while the others eat toast and cold cereal, I drink a cup of coffee.

     I get to play with the kids again for a little while before church, the circle around me, giggling, while I sit on the floor and try to tickle them. We play catch, and Bristol hands me her Barbie cellphone to talk on. I adore these children.

     Church is good. Saying goodbye to Bristol and Weston and Nate and Aimee is sad, knowing we won't see them for awhile again.

     We arrive at Traci's in Keewatin around noon. Right away when we come in she offers us the babies. Davie is a little shy at first but before too long, he warms up. Traci makes us lunch, spaghetti, and Davie and I make cupcakes. "Cake?" he enthuses. We only have three hours before we need to head back to Deer River to Hoffman's for dinner, and we make sure to enjoy it thoroughly.

     At Hoffman's we have a delicious supper and all members of the families who have not yet met in previous meetings, are introduced. After supper, the girls decide to go on a walk, Hope, the oldest, Bree's daughter, who is not quite two, asks Auntie Given if "Blue girl go on walk?" Ruthie (who is wearing a blue dress) is now 'Blue girl'. As we pass the horses, Given asks if I want to ride, since I'm the only one who didn't get to ride yet. I haven't been on a horse in a long time and it's great, but after about three rounds, my thighs are bruised from hitting the saddle repeatedly as I can't quite get into the rhythm of Domingo's gate yet. He's a great horse, well behaved, yet he's got an attitude and he's gonna see what he can get away with. I never really did like the perfectly docile horses. 

     We talk and play Catch Phrase and then it's time to go. Rachael, Lizzy, Sarah and I take the car home while the family takes the van. It's great just to have time with the girls again. I honestly miss them when we're apart. 

     And so my wonderful weekend has come to a close. Today, Monday, Labor Day, is kinda acting as a buffer, getting us all back into the swing of life, tomorrow we start school. I'm looking forwards to that. Tonight, my friend Cherish is coming to spend some time catching up, we've become disconnected over the summer, so that should be great, and maybe Aaron and Carrie, I miss them. :) Wednesday Lizzy and I clean and I'm sure the rest of the week will fill up quickly, if not with people and going places, with gardening and school. 

     I didn't get as many pictures as I wanted to but here are some pictures of our time with Bristol and Weston--

Bristol Nicole <3 

Weston David

Watching auntie write in the sand

Bristol kept wiping out what I wrote

Thinking

Princess with an attitude <3

Scribbles in the sand

Playing catch

Catch with Grandma, the dog, Colt kept stealing Weston's ball

Such a pretty smile

Botany lesson

The wonders of creation and an inquisitive mind

Cleaning out the sand box, first the sticks...

...Then the trucks...

...Lining them up...

...Success! On to the next thing.

Little charmer

Uh-oh! Sister stole his hat!

Ha! Grandma got it back!

No! Not again!

She thinks it's a game...

...

...Weston doesn't!...

Okay, he's done chasing no more fun.

Coloring time!

He looks just like Aaron did at this age!

Graham crackers! Mmm!! 

Look at that face! :)

<3 I love you Beautiful! <3

Show off! :)

So there you have it! The darling Bristol and Weston. I didn't get any pictures of the other three sadly, but I had fun with them too!! The five sweetest toddlers in my life! <3