Drinking spiced chai tea out of my favorite black mug and cuddling my baby as I watch the snow falling lazily from a grey sky outside the window. It's cozy inside next to the heat register and I feel blessed and so thankful for my life.
I've always had this mindset that God must really hate women. We have a period every month and if we want kids we have to be pregnant for 9 months and deliver them... etc.
And while I've always felt like the best thing in the world was to be a mom it seemed like a huge unfair sacrifice... Until I got pregnant. 
I had the privilege of growing a baby for 9 months, 90% of the time I loved it!
Going through labor was harder than I could have ever imagined and I didn't think I was going to make it through but then I heard his first cry and they handed me my tiny naked little baby. That's a moment I will never forget; finally meeting my son. I knew then that I would do it all over again.
I felt more deeply than ever how much my mom loved me and how blessed I am to be a woman and a mother.
The price we pay to bring our children into this world is so small in comparison to the huge blessing we get in return, a few short months and we forever have the biggest gift in the world... the privilege of being mommy.
I've spent the past 3 weeks staring at Jacoby, cuddling, kissing, and changing him, feeding him and watching my little man grow and change and develop every day. I can't get over how beautiful and
perfect he is.
I never knew I could wake up every couple hours during the night to tend to someone's needs and be ok with that. To devote my waking hours catering to his needs and wants, but I love it!
Jacoby is the best gift I've ever received.
I know I'm still in the
baby stage and it's going to get so
much tougher but right now it hardly seems that's possible.
I'm so thankful for my family especially my mom and sisters who have loved me and supported me through this all and helped and took care of me. I wish so much that every new mom had someone to give them this much support. 
And more than anything I still marvel at God's love! Thinking about Him giving me a child to make me take responsibility and turn my life around instead of something awful like He could have, or turning His back completely and giving up on me, makes me tear up every time. His grace amazes me!
