I was thinking about what to write for a New Year post and decided I wouldn't write my normal 'Oh yay it's a new year to start over and etc.' this post is for my family, a thank you an apology a tribute --
People say, 'friends come and go but family is forever' and that is a true statement. Not for everyone. But for me it has been. 16-1/2 years they've put up with me, loved me, made me laugh, made me cry, listened to me, encouraged me. My family has been my biggest fan club, they know who I am and what hurts me, what I love, what I hate, what makes me smile. They've seen me at my worst (And believe me, anyone who has seen me at my worst and still loves me... they deserve a medal of some sort!). My family challenges me.
2012 has been rough, the relationships have been rocky, I've hurt my family, they've hurt me, I know I've said and done things that I shouldn't have, I've made life 10x's harder for them. I've probably brought a lot of the gray sprinkled through dad's dark hair... I account for probably at least half of the tears mom's shed. I've cut my siblings down, I've added stress, I've shattered dreams for peace and perfection, I've influenced siblings... and as the count down to the New Year comes around, who am I surrounded by? My family, grudges and hurts for the moment forgotten all that's there is support, and love.
If I could add up the grace and second chances, the forgiveness I've been extended by my family, It'd be an unfathomable amount. There have been many moments of misunderstanding, fighting, differences, words that cut, days I wish I had never been born into this clan, that I could just run away, I could disappear and start over. But in the end I know I'm lucky, I'm lucky that I still have them and no matter where the road takes me, no matter what my future, my destiny, I know that they will always be there and I'll always love them because they're a good family.
We're not the family mom might of dreamed of having. Perfect. But they're the best kind of family. The kind that when it get's rough, band together and support each other. The kind that doesn't judge and discriminate, might not approve, but instead of alienating they still love. No matter the relationship status, no matter how big of a fight, or how hurtful the words, we need something, they won't grudge or deny us it. My family is loyal. They know how to laugh when it hurts so bad you think you're gonna die, they're not so good at crying, but they're fighters and don't give in to the pain easily, they know how to work together. My family is fun, strong, generous, hospitable and amazing. That to me is a good family, so mom, you might not have a perfect family in the sense you wanted, your kids might not be everything you want them to be but you've created an amazing family, I think you can be proud of that.
We've still got rough months ahead... relationships aren't perfect, they never will be, but I can rest assured, in the fights and the pain, I'll always have their love. They'll always be here when I need them. I've realized that I'm blessed. Honestly, there are a lot of things I want to do different when I have a family of my own, I'm not afraid to say that, but when I think of my future, what I base my future on is what I've grown up with and I'll always be thankful for the memories, the love, and the support of my family. Not everyone has family they can depend on. So I wanna say thank you and I love you all!
People say, 'friends come and go but family is forever' and that is a true statement. Not for everyone. But for me it has been. 16-1/2 years they've put up with me, loved me, made me laugh, made me cry, listened to me, encouraged me. My family has been my biggest fan club, they know who I am and what hurts me, what I love, what I hate, what makes me smile. They've seen me at my worst (And believe me, anyone who has seen me at my worst and still loves me... they deserve a medal of some sort!). My family challenges me.
2012 has been rough, the relationships have been rocky, I've hurt my family, they've hurt me, I know I've said and done things that I shouldn't have, I've made life 10x's harder for them. I've probably brought a lot of the gray sprinkled through dad's dark hair... I account for probably at least half of the tears mom's shed. I've cut my siblings down, I've added stress, I've shattered dreams for peace and perfection, I've influenced siblings... and as the count down to the New Year comes around, who am I surrounded by? My family, grudges and hurts for the moment forgotten all that's there is support, and love.
If I could add up the grace and second chances, the forgiveness I've been extended by my family, It'd be an unfathomable amount. There have been many moments of misunderstanding, fighting, differences, words that cut, days I wish I had never been born into this clan, that I could just run away, I could disappear and start over. But in the end I know I'm lucky, I'm lucky that I still have them and no matter where the road takes me, no matter what my future, my destiny, I know that they will always be there and I'll always love them because they're a good family.
We're not the family mom might of dreamed of having. Perfect. But they're the best kind of family. The kind that when it get's rough, band together and support each other. The kind that doesn't judge and discriminate, might not approve, but instead of alienating they still love. No matter the relationship status, no matter how big of a fight, or how hurtful the words, we need something, they won't grudge or deny us it. My family is loyal. They know how to laugh when it hurts so bad you think you're gonna die, they're not so good at crying, but they're fighters and don't give in to the pain easily, they know how to work together. My family is fun, strong, generous, hospitable and amazing. That to me is a good family, so mom, you might not have a perfect family in the sense you wanted, your kids might not be everything you want them to be but you've created an amazing family, I think you can be proud of that.
We've still got rough months ahead... relationships aren't perfect, they never will be, but I can rest assured, in the fights and the pain, I'll always have their love. They'll always be here when I need them. I've realized that I'm blessed. Honestly, there are a lot of things I want to do different when I have a family of my own, I'm not afraid to say that, but when I think of my future, what I base my future on is what I've grown up with and I'll always be thankful for the memories, the love, and the support of my family. Not everyone has family they can depend on. So I wanna say thank you and I love you all!
