Jacoby Lee 6

I wish I took the time to write down more of the things that Jacoby does and says, I need to start a memory book for him or something. Lately with his sass and smarts he keeps me laughing... and shaking my head.

He has figured out the traffic lights and what they mean, when we approach a red light he yells "Stop! Stop!" and when it turns green, "turn green!" If we turn right on a red light he goes "Where's the green?". The other day he said that the light was green but we were making a left turn and our arrow was red so I explained that when we turn that the arrow is our light and it has to turn green, the next time we were at a left turn waiting on a light he goes "arrow turned green!" The other day we were driving through town and he was commenting "Stop!" and "Turned Green" as usual when one of the lights turned yellow as we approached it, very perplexed he exclaimed "What on earth?!"

We were leaving my work and he had seen my coworkers so we were talking about them and their names, he was able to say Andrea and Erin but it sounded like he was saying "ham" when I tried to get him to say Pam. So I told him, "It's P-Pam, can you say P-Pam?" he goes "P-Pam..." and then a little sheepishly, "I told you that mama!"

We went to the Paul Bunyan Communications appreciation fish fry and as we were walking over Jacoby saw several children carrying those little helium type balloons on sticks. He very excitedly announced "Baby brother want kite, me want kite!" then added "Really bad!!" Apparently he's already advocating for the little one. ;)

I'm excited to see what he is like with his brother, the other day he started calling him "My baby" and pulled a diaper and wipes out of the changing stand and told me, "Change my baby's diaper when he comes". I had put them away that night and one of the first things he did the next day was to again pull a diaper and wipes out for the baby. I think that he is ready to meet him. :)

He got a post card from auntie Rachael!

He loves haircuts. he begged for one for a long time before I was finally ready for it to be cut again. 

At the park with a big stick... life couldn't be better.

Photobombing my belly pic. 

When you can't have a fire but you wanna roast marshmallows, candles and skewers are a good substitute 

He made icecream cone cupcakes with sprinkles!

Just spending time at Grandma's.

Jacoby Lee 5

     I figure it's about time for an update on this much neglected blog. What better than a post about the crazy wonderful toddler of mine right?! He's ridiculously smart and he drives me crazy! The tantrums are real! We recently moved to a 2 bedroom and he's in his own bedroom now which is surprisingly something I really like. I still have nights I have to check on him 3 or 4 times before I can go to sleep but after 2 years of him only sleeping in my room, I have to admit my own space is nice!

     He loves books, nothing new for him but he will sit through books like Dr Suess, Green Eggs and Ham. Today as I read it to him he was quoting parts with me.
      I've noticed his memory is incredible right now, I'm trying to figure out ways to take advantage of and grow that. I've started playing the memory game with him with cards I made from Eric Carle's The Very Hungry Caterpillar. He loves it and actually is really good at it and catching on to the rules.
     He is extremely compassionate. He had the flu for a couple days and threw up quite a few times. I got it a few days after him and the one time I threw up he came to the bathroom and brought me a bucket and put his hand on my back, very concerned for me. He melts my heart!
      He loves art, cutting, pasting, painting, markers, any form.
     He is obsessed with Star Wars, legos and the movie Big Hero 6 and Mickey Mouse.
     He sings a lot, it's so cute! He's started using this deep dramatic voice every now and then to sing and it    cracks me up every time!
      He's learning emotions, his commonly used ones are "sad" and "mad" and "happy. He says "funny joking" "uh-oh sghettios" "no way!!" "Big more!" -about portions of food  "Whole 'tainer"-because Who doesn't like eating out of the container right?! And "Coby do it!" -very independent, this one.
     Oh yeah and he is super excited about his "baby brudder" who will be joining us in May! (He has even saved a package of wipes for him.)
He's recently started to ask "Why?" about most everything I tell him, But simple answers most of the time are answered with "Oh!"
Here are some recent pictures of my punkin.

He loves to help, cooking, laundry, cleaning he goes "big helper!" <3 br="">

His crazy wild hair. He put foot lotion in it. Lotion is his gel. 

This train set was a birthday gift from auntie Mary and one of his favorite toys!

Too tired for food.

He loves his tea parties!

His fashion... mama's clothes, this is a phase he has mostly grown out of!

That smile!

The gender reveal! Coby decided he needed to open the box. :)

Christmas gift from Grandpa Steve Zachow, he was so excited about the legos.

He helped to make this cake and he was so proud!

We finally got a family year pass to the Science Center in town
 and it's very hard to convince him to leave that place!

Waiting patiently for his coffee to brew. 

His winter style <3 td="">

Giving his lion a ride. :)

A reminder to be thankful even for painted carpets

Today I made a terrible mistake that I will never make again. I let Jacoby eat 3 marshmallows when he woke up this morning. He wanted one last night but I told him he had to wait so he did. He didn't even open the bag, he just slept with it all night. It even transferred from his bed to mine when he did early in the morning. So when I opened the bag and he quickly grabbed 3 of them I didn't feel like fighting about it, I just let him enjoy them.
Within an hour he had found my box of paints. Tempra paints that had been sitting in the same place since we moved in the beginning of February, and he had never touched. He had been playing nicely in his room but when it got quiet other than noises I could not distinguish I went to check. A huge blob of red paint on his beautiful little quilt. I calmly sent him out to the table to paint on paper, admonished him soundly to never touch paint without mommy and that we only paint on paper and proceeded to clean up the mess. He then went into my bedroom and locked the door. I panicked. When he let me in there was blue paint on my bed. I put him in the tub to soak and finished cleaning everything. I decided to put the bedding in the wash and asked him to carry the stain remover. 30 seconds later I heard glugging in the hall and found him with a large puddle of stain remover on the floor. He carried the coins after that. 45 minutes later it was all cleaned up, the paint was up and I was exhausted. I called Drew and Jacoby went to play in his room. I assured Drew that there was nothing more that he could get into and heard him playing with legos. As I hung up the phone Jacoby came trotting into the living room, legs coated in red paint and hands all red. I had left the red paint on his toy chest after cleaning up. I put him in the bath and peeked into his room, paint on the wall, on the toy box, on the bed and all over his carpet. I wanted to cry and give up. But as he lay splashing in his pink bath water pretending to be a fishy, I couldn't help thinking how cute and sweet he is.
It's almost all out of the carpet. The sheets are a little stained but they can be replaced and it came off the wall and the child. It was one of the worst days of my parenting but through it all I still felt an overwhelming love for him and marveled at God's design and gift to me as a mother.
People say that twos are terrible and threes are worse but I disagree. Hectic, insane, crazy, overwhelming... yes! 100 times yes! But so so rewarding. I feel so privileged to get to watch this little guy develop to see his mind and body grow. He is so smart and independent and so loving! To get to be the recipient of his "I love you!" and hugs and kisses daily.
I don't feel privileged always at 4 in the morning being woken up and asked for a story or an egg or when I'm cleaning up paint or in the middle of a tantrum. But I know these days won't last forever. In fact in 2 short years I have witnessed how fast they change, how fast they grow up and how quickly he is getting to the point that he will not need me like he does now. And so I will choose to cherish every memory, the good and the bad with him and thank God for blessing me with the incredible joy and gift of being a mom.

Jacoby Lee 4

January 3, 2016

Yesterday I took my baby outside, he was being extremely whiny and clingy. Lately, he almost won't sleep if I'm not holding him.  I can't figure out if it's teeth or he's sick, maybe both. Regardless, I bundled him up and brought him out to get some fresh air. He wandered around and explored until his cheeks were pink and we had to go in.
He's getting so intelligent and catching on to things, learning to communicate his wishes and needs quite well! Everything painful is "hot". A while ago I was busy trying to do something and wasn't paying attention to him when all of a sudden I heard him whispering "hot hot hot hot" I turned around and he had my (lukewarm) coffee cup between his legs and he was looking at it exclaiming it to be "hot"!
He already has a terrible sweet tooth. He finds the bag of marshmallows and brings it to me... Last night I gave in and gave him one, he promptly crawled up on the couch and sat munching it contentedly.
He brings us so much joy, even when he wakes at 4:30 and keeps us up for an hour screaming... Or unrolls half a roll of toilet paper and dips his hands in the toilet... ;) I feel so so blessed to be this pumpkin's mama.

March 17, 2016

17 months today! Almost a year and a half has passed since that wonderful October morning I finally got to hold him in my arms! I just looked back at Jacoby Lee 3 from June 2015. My goodness he has grown since then! Those days seem just yesterday, not 9 months ago! He was so little and roly poly back then! He recently learned how to open doors *sighs*. The other night I thought I finally had him sleeping but as soon as I got into the bathroom I hear *rattle rattle* "Mom?" *rattle rattle*. He grins like he is God's gift to the world when he enters a room, especially the bathroom, like you should feel so thrilled to see him (which really I do agree with MOST of the time!) He thinks he is the funniest... probably my fault since I tell him he is frequently, and the most adorable. He always cheeses up all cute for selfies and he has developed quite the taste for his (dad's) morning coffee! 

He is much too intelligent for his own good, and my own sanity at this point! I am begging God for wisdom as I watch him grow into a strong willed child like I was. I have gained so much respect for my mom, through this 17 month parenting journey I have so far lived through! :) He is my sunshine! 

July 13, 2016

Jacoby will be 21 months on Sunday. It's hard to believe it's been nearly 2 years already. He's talking a lot! He learned "No" a day or two ago, he hasn't used it much though. :) He waves goodbye and blows kisses. He counts and then jumps. It's pretty adorable. 

His current obsessions are boats, balloons ("boonta") and popsicles ("bops"). As I write this, he waits impatiently for me to blow up his 'boontas' which he will more than likely go step on and then come tell me sadly that they are 'broked'. *shaking my head* 

Every time he enters a bathroom he immediately flushes and closes the toilet. He's pretty smart. He loves music! Any music but if he can dance and bob to it, it's better. He's working on growing out of 3T clothing currently. Finding him clothing is a real challenge! 

He loves helping me cook, especially if he can crack the eggs. Eggs are his favorite breakfast, if it's not eggs he will hardly eat. He brings the eggs out, cracks them into a bowl and calls for a whisk to beat them with. He knows how it's done! :) 

He's becoming more and more empathetic and caring and it is very sweet to watch him give kisses and hugs on his own initiative.
I often wonder what life would be like if Jacoby wasn't with us. I don't really wanna know.

November 15, 2016

Why does time insist on rushing by like stampeding
<3 p="">buffalo?! My baby is 2 now, and he's over 3' and 40lbs. How did he get so big so fast? He can say almost anything he wants and is stringing words together. He goes to sleep in his own bed by himself now which has been a huge and wonderful change for everyone. He sleeps through the night now. He loves building houses and today he discovered Mr. Potato Head. It's his new favorite. He loves grandmas and knows where daddy, mommy and auntie works. He knows Luekens and Walmart and the mall and park. He's singing Jesus Loves Me almost by himself but his favorite is still Jesus Loves the Little Children. He loves coffee, his coffee is a tiny bit of creamer in milk but he doesn't know the difference yet. :P

Skipping rocks by Paul and Babe

Flossing his teeth and oh so proud ;]

He is the most restless sleeper
and falls out of bed.

Taking over my homework...and my smoothie,
hence the pink duck lips.

That crazy hair and adorable face though.

Trying on dad's new hat.

This is his box.

When Patience Comes Hard

Lately I have been struggling with patience in my parenting. Sometimes when he doesn't listen I lose my cool and I raise my voice. And I don't always take enough time with him. I'm too busy.
I have been taking care of a lady who is elderly and though her mind is extremely sharp, her physical abilities are quickly fading, causing her to have to depend almost completely on others. This is hard for both of us, her because I can only imagine how frustrating it would be to have to always tell someone else what and how to do things especially when you like them a certain way. And me, because I am sensitive and her impatience though not meant to hurt me often does. We both are trying and we both are learning to work together. I hear people talking about the balance with taking care of the elderly of leaving them room to do things and protecting their dignity and having to help them with so much, almost like a child again in an adult body.
It got me thinking about how we need to treat children very similarly, with as much respect and dignity as possible. If I can keep my cool with my elderly charge, I need to work just as hard to stay calm with my baby. It's frustrating and hard to communicate when we are adults with full vocabulary. How much harder it must be to be a child without as much ability to communicate.
Grace with each other is so important. Allowing room for old and young and everyone in between to just be and feel and sometimes have bad days and fall apart and to still love and care and not take it to heart but to cover, because love covers over a multitude of sins(1 Peter 4:8)b, right?
I have to share some pictures because it has been far too long.

Throwback to my tiny baby only 3 months or so here.

And a picture of him and "Tato man" his new favorite toy, and yes he built him like that himself. ;)

Identity

     I'm doing this awesome bible study in Ephesians called Journal and Doodle through the Bible by Kari Denker. You should check it out and possibly get a copy of one or more of her bible studies yourself!

One of the exercises for Ephesians 1 is to take verses  3-14 and write each truth about who I am on a blank page and circle those truths.

• I am blessed 
•  I am chosen
•  I am accepted 
• I am redeemed 
• I am forgiven 

     And then to go back and write next to each thing what that means to me. As I wrote these things down my heart rejoiced in the awesomeness of each of these truths.
     Jesus came down from Heaven to suffer for me so that I could be forgiven. He was flawless and  
     He took on the weight MY sin and took it to the cross so that I could be free.
     He CHOSE me! (1:4)
     He BLESSED me. (1:3)
     He ACCEPTS me. (1:6)
     He ADOPTED me into His family. (1:5)
     He has given ME an inheritance. (1:11)
     And I am SEALED with the Holy Spirit of Promise. (1:13
     This is something I often forget or maybe take a bit forgranted especially when I'm looking around at the other failing people around me. I was NOTHING and He found potential in me!
     I think that is a lot of what love is about;
     Grace.
     Nurturing potential.
     Believing in people.
     Praying for them.
Acceptance is something we long for, something we have a hard time giving, feeling or obtaining. Yet it is something that God gives us freely, after  all He CHOSE us! When we are feeling bad about who we are or having a hard time accepting others, maybe it's partially because  we are looking for acceptance in the wrong places, for our identity in people, our career, our children, when we need to be finding our identity in Christ.

Not my will but Yours be done!

When we decided to come to Lesvos Island to help out with the refugee crisis, I envisioned actually helping! Me. Personally. Making a difference in these peoples lives, maybe even making a noticeable difference. Working lots of shifts. Like the Isaiah58 team, working with families in the Family Compound. I realize now that this was not so much a missions trip, but a place away from the noise and business of every day, a situation that God could use to prune me and shape me. Training ground for whatever ministry God has planned for us. He had a lot of work to do in my heart before I was any good on this journey.
We arrived Monday night (March 21) and said we were available on the 23rd, giving ourselves a buffer day. Moria had just been turned into a detention camp and they had kicked all volunteers out. They were slowly allowing I58 and others back in though, since they needed help. It was days though, before we actually got a shift.
We had a wonderful time the first few days, I tried to stay positive and look on the bright side of resting up. We had been told we could work together with Jacoby in camp, other couples had done it and it was okay. Then we were told Moria no longer allowed people under 18 in (other than refugees of course) and we would be scheduled in Skala Sikaminias camp, which was basically just a stop over before the refugees moved on towards Mytilene and Moria camp. Then we got final word from the director of Euro Relief (Who is the main organization above everyone) that we couldn't work as a family in either of the camps.
We told the scheduler that we were willing to work on opposite shifts. Drew got to shadow Rachael in the family compound for a couple of hours one night and Drew and I were feeling lead to work in Moria. That was when the scheduler told us that the Community Center could make great use of a couple willing to volunteer there. We were not excited about this, not knowing anything much about it but said we would be willing to be there a few shifts as needed. They put me on three shifts in the clothing tent and Drew on one.
Monday night, (March 28) I was supposed to have my first shift in the clothing tent at Moria.  I was super excited and nervous, Rachael was going to come in with me for the first couple of hours. Then they switched the clothing tent hours to only 8 am - 4:30 pm and I got my shifts switched to Tuesday (29) 8am - 4:30pm and the following Friday and Sunday, same shift.
I had finally had enough. I was frustrated beyond anything. I got very upset with Drew, I was unreasonable. It was deeper issues than just the scheduling, I felt like I was wasting my time, I felt like God didn't listen to me. In fact I had been feeling that way for a long time. I had been buying in to the devil's lies that God didn't listen or answer my prayers.
Rachael and I had planned on a coffee date on Monday before my shift and even though we didn't go into Moria we still had coffee. For two hours, Drew watched Jacoby and Rachael and I caught up over coffee. She let me in on a lot of things with the I58 team and work in the camp and her own struggles and I felt refreshed! I felt like everything was going to be okay again.
Drew and Jacoby got fevers and flu on Monday night and I didn't go in on Tuesday for my shift. Wednesday and Thursday we were scheduled for the Community Center. Drew took my Friday shift and I worked on Sunday. The following week, Monday, Wednesday and Today, (Friday April 8) we were scheduled for the Community Center. It has been so beyond stretching for us.

When we first went to the Community Center on Wednesday last week we were still struggling with being accepted and wanted here. (We felt like we had been told there was a great need for volunteers, in the orientation with YWAM they told us 'we need more volunteers, pray for volunteers.' We didn't realize 'til later, most of their volunteers are YWAM teams from schools, this is their 'outreach' and so I don't think they really knew how to schedule a person or two here or there so we have felt very left out and unconnected. Most people had a group they came with. Everyone gets excited about a group but though people were very nice to us, nobody really went out of their way to come talk to us or make us feel welcome. ) We were walked to the Center by a girl from the Next Wave boat (YWAM's boat, volunteers stay there and there is a crew that's been there long term and they move different places) and a new team who was planning to prayer walk around Mytilene but they wanted to see the center first. The lady that was running the center welcomed us all in but Drew and I sat on the sidelines almost completely unnoticed. The excitement was all over this group and they prayed over the lady running the center and talked about how one of the girls did hair cutting and how that would be great for the center. She didn't even realize that we were the ones there to help her until afterwards. The first couple days were painful and hard.
And then we started to realize that it wasn't really about us! I am learning that we don't need the glory, this is where we are called to serve. This is where we have been put and we need to be obedient in that. I have prepared so many cups of coffee and tea and we have slowly gotten to know the lady who runs the center and she's really cool! She has a great heart and she really appreciates us. We have gotten to know more people from Next Wave as they come and volunteer somewhat too.
Rachael talked to Kate from the I58 team and she has welcomed us to any of their events or shifts while we are here and we have each got the opportunity to go in a couple times and help I58 out in the family compound.
Rachael and Theresa had to move on as their allowed time without a visa had run out. That was sad. They made our transition so much easier. Making connections for us so that we could come, picking us up from the airport, stocking our fridge a bit so we had stuff when we arrived, helping out in any way they could, fellowship, listening, helping us connect. Even though they were exhausted themselves, they have encouraged and served us so beautifully. We really have missed them but are thankful that we got the time with them while we did.
Tomorrow Drew is going into Moria for a shift from 4:30 PM to 12:00 AM. I'm not sure where or if we will be scheduled on Monday and Tuesday. My only regret, flying out of here on Thursday is how caught up in myself I was the first week and a half. That instead of making good use of my time, and picking up shifts in Moria, just shadowing Rachael and Lizzy or other I58ers... I was concerned about how we weren't 'needed' here.

This trip has changed my perspective on so many things...

*How I view God.
*How God views me.
*Matthew 25:31-46
*Servanthood.
*My need for God vs. His need for me
*I can't do it in my strength.
*God does care and listen to my prayers.
*We can't wait for others to initiate and minister to us, for one that is God's job in our lives and two, others rarely initiate so we just waste time and opportunity.
*I believe strongly in FIXING the problem, not putting a bandaid on it. This is a situation that we have to be bandaids, we CAN'T fix the problem because it is much bigger than us but we can make a difference in these people's lives that we touch.

I came here, looking for the wrong things, God used this situation to open my eyes to so many areas in my life that need growth. I knew I needed something, I just didn't know what, God has shown me that it is Him that I need! I have been trying too hard to do it on my own and couldn't figure out why I was having such issues. This trip has been so very challenging and a great opportunity to die to self. I was excited about the relationships, working with the people! And I got the hard stuff, the quiet background serving. Working in the clothing tent, serving food and tea at the community center.
I literally got the opportunity to carry out Matthew 25:35-40... How awesome is that?!