Roller Coaster

     There's something about knowing God is in control of the world and I don't have to be responsible for it makes it a little easier and less stressful, and yet life is pretty crazy right now, so good and so disappointing, so exciting and so scary!

     I know it's been forever since I last updated this blog. About two months ago, Cjay and I moved in with one of my coworkers who was looking for a roommate. Rent was cheap and I was excited about being with him. We were also having problems and I naively figured that moving in together would help those problems. I came out of it, realizing it was a good thing as I learned a lot more about him and who he was, as well as who I was and who we were together. I found out that it just wasn't going to work out and I finally told him goodbye and helped him move back to Cass Lake. 

      I promised myself from the beginning that I would never regret our relationship, and though there are things about it that I regret, I learned so much and am thankful for the time that he was in my life. I feel like I've grown closer to my family the last two months as they've been there for me and supported me through every up and down and poor decision and high I've had. And being single has given me a new freedom and perspective on life. 

     My roommate has been amazing! Helps me out with stuff when I need it and does so much for me that she doesn't have to do. Her grandparents passed about a month ago after an accident which was really difficult for her. It was hard watching her go through that. About a week ago, we went down to Valley Fair for a day and stayed with her parents, the family was going cleaning out and preparing her grandparents' house for sale and I think it was a bit difficult for her, but at the same time she was able to say goodbye one last time, and get some things that held memories for her from the house. 

     Valley fair was a lot of fun, but after the second roller coaster, I couldn't force myself to get on one more. The food was good and the water park was fun. I got super burned, even though I used sunscreen, I'm pretty sure that the sunscreen made it worse! Even though we were gone only two days, it felt so good to be home again! 

     I've been working on quitting some bad habits and all together turning my life back around on track, trusting God more with my future and yet taking control and making all the dreams I let go happen. Today I was scheduled for my road test to get my license, I made one little-big mistake that automatically failed me. I was a bit disappointed but before hand as I sat and waited for the instructor, I had a little chat with God about how I could really use my license right now but at the same time wasn't sure if I was prepared to drive and that if He didn't think I should get it that was in His hands. So I guess God has other plans, and hopefully I'll pass the test I have scheduled in three weeks. 

      After failing my road test, mom and I stopped in at BSU to sign up for PSEO, Brett, the PSEO administrator was extremely helpful and nice and took my registration papers and highschool transcript, looked at my accuplacer test scores and said it looked promising and that he'd set up a date after processing my papers to come in and register for classes. That going smoothly, kind of made up for failing my road test. So hopefully if all goes well, by the end of August, I'll be starting school.

     In closing, I'd like to ask for prayer for a really close friend of mine who lost her fiance on Sunday in a swimming accident. Their little girl is about 7 months. It tears me up every time I think about that fact that she's gonna grow up without him and my friend's loss. I'm hoping to go up Thursday for my day off with Rachael to be with her for the day. Once more I question the reason but know that God's working something  out for the better but right now it's so hard to see what good possibly could come from something so tragic! So please keep her in your prayers!