Delaying Grieving

     I dream a lot about you, and you're always right here with me again. Often I know you're there but no one else does and I hate waking back up to reality. I write, the tears I've held back for so long finally streaming down my cheeks. It's a relief in a way, but it hurts! I miss you. Every step of the way, I see your pictures, I see your letters, people mention you and it's all enough to make me cry. I miss your prayers. It's weird for me to say that when I've so rejected Christianity and the very thought of someone praying for me usually really annoys me, but sometimes I wonder if your prayers were the only thing holding me back from the edge, because as soon as you left, my world crashed over the edge of the cliff and is currently a disaster! Does the pain fade? Will it be okay again? I thought that just maybe I would never be able to grieve you leaving us. But here over a year later It's hitting me like a train!
I miss you!